Divorce And Mediation
Divorce And Mediation: Deciding If Mediation Is Right For You
If you're researching your options for: how to divorce with dignity, in a family-focused way, and how to divorce without going broke, I can offer you some guidance. Divorce mediation might be exactly the process that will ensure you divorce without regrets.
Let's take a look at how to decide whether a divorce mediation service like Leave Strong Divorce Services makes sense for your situation by asking the questions you need answers to before you select a divorce process.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people say to me” “ I wish we had mediated our divorce” as they launch into their story about how much time and money they spent on their litigated divorce and how it not only drained their bank accounts, and put their children in the middle, it completely emotionally exhausted them. They usually go on to say something like, “I had no idea I could have mediated, I thought we had to be best of friends for mediation to work.” Well, let’s face it, if you were the best of friends you probably wouldn’t be getting a divorce!
100% of couples who want a divorce end up divorced. The difference between those who use attorneys and the slow moving court system is how much time, stress, and money they spend on their divorce process. If you are trying to decide: is divorce mediation right for us?” know that while you need to behave respectfully in divorce mediation, you can mediate even if you disagree on many matters and are struggling to communicate effectively.
How is it possible to mediate if you have conflict and disagreement on important matters like parenting and asset division?
That is where the choice of mediators is going to matter most. Unlike becoming an attorney there is no Bar Exam or standardized school of mediation one needs to attend to become a mediator. In fact, you can simply hang out a shingle that says you are a mediator. I started my training in 1998 well before mediation was commonly known, and I have taken over 350 hours of training over the years at a range of prestigious institutions to hone my skills as a mediator. I have taught mediation training and mentored other mediators. Mediation is its own skillset. Make sure the mediator you select has the training, skills, and proven track record to mediate your divorce.
Let's take a look at some of the other questions to ask yourself when you're considering whether a divorce mediation service is right for you.
Do you and your spouse want to do what is best for your family? Is it important to you to keep your children out of your conflict and preserve your ability to co-parent after divorce? If so, mediation will give you the best chance of accomplishing those goals..
Do you think your assets are too complicated for a mediated divorce? I have mediated multi-million dollar estates and zero dollar estates. Your net worth and even the complexity of it is not determinative of whether mediation is right for you. Access to experts who will help in a non-partisan way to evaluate and value your various assets is all you need. Every good mediator will have a referral network of vetted and seasoned experts you can choose from to ensure you both know the true value of the community’s assets and debts before beginning the process of negotiating their distribution.
Are you afraid you will be bullied or pressured and won’t be able to negotiate for yourself? Again, this is no reason to abandon the prospects of mediating your divorce. Any valued mediator will have a collection of Divorce Attorneys they can refer you to. It’s quite common, in fact preferred by most mediators, that you will have your own legal consultant to help ensure your expectations are aligned with your legal rights and obligations. With the help of a consulting attorney and the skills of a well trained mediator you will actually feel emboldened to make proposals and evaluate proposals without pressure to succumb to demands that just are not fair.
If you think that mediation may be a good fit for you I am here to help you determine if that is true. Mediation will literally save you tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars, years in a slow and stressful court system, and in the end what will you have gained that could not be accomplished in a matter of months not years for a small fraction of the cost.
If you are trying to find a divorce mediator near you, schedule a complimentary consultation with Leave Strong Divorce Services. And get all your questions answered. I am here to help you make this otherwise difficult divorce and mediation as conflict and cost-managed as possible.